haydensmythe: A picture of a boy with an avocado for a head and large glasses. (Default)
 I'm calling this live journaling because I'm typing this up as I go and not going back to edit anything.
I'll actually put a mood on here now.
No commenting, now - it's my journal and I'll be as colorful as I like.

I am indeed quite tired. My head is reeling, a feeling I truly loathe.

Sometimes the only things to write about are things that'd get me in trouble. Conversations with my best friend are one example. We talk about things that I really shouldn't type up on a public record. Not to say they're entirely inappropriate. They're just entirely too personal. We share our innermost thoughts and irrational emotions with each other. It isn't exactly something to share with the world. They're private, intimate moments that I'd prefer to keep that way.

Could I sound any more cliched and feminine?

Ah, well. I have the excuse of exhaustion on my side, if nothing else.

One person has been in my mind recently. A boy, as taboo and controversial as that may be. Two boys. Oh no. Watch out, they might start holding hands or something equally scandalous.

Anyway, the boy. We used to have something. We really did. Then, realizing the scarlet letter marking everything we did, I pushed him away, convinced that once he saw it, he'd push me away, himself. Hurt him before he hurt me. Of course, he bounced right back, and I was left breaking myself apart.

Now, realizing my mistake and that I do indeed still care for him, and he does indeed still care for me, I'm attempting to rekindle our old flame. It may be desperate and foolish, but I suppose that's exactly the type of person I am.

My friend is concerned and calling me now. I'll give it a rest for tonight.
haydensmythe: A picture of a boy with an avocado for a head and large glasses. (Default)
5/23/13 - 9:40 A.M.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Tap. Tap. Tap tap tap.
Tap tap tap tap tap tap.
Tappatappatappa crash BOOM.

Gentle rain slowly evolves to a thunderous flash flood outside the classroom. It can be heard throughout the building; crashing against the ceiling, blowing against the walls, soaking into the very foundation. Its symphony lulls some to sleep, but as for me, I prefer to stay awake to enjoy the show.

5/27/13 - 11:16 A.M.

Sometimes, my journaling is very cut-and-dry. Sometimes it takes a while for it to eventually devolve into rambling prose. Ah, well, no matter. I can always count on the inevitability that my words will twist and take shape, painting a vibrant narrative. It may not always be graceful, beautiful, and eloquent, as I would prefer, but it is mine.
haydensmythe: A picture of a boy with an avocado for a head and large glasses. (Default)
So, this is a rather old piece, but it's one that many people like. I, personally, just see it as an exercise in letting out stress and nothing more. Still, I hope you enjoy it.


Jeanne sat, legs crossed, on the cold, rough concrete, tears streaming down her face and leaving thin stains. Her back was hunched from the sobs racking her body, but her face was gently tilted towards the starry night sky, the girl disregarding the world’s distaste towards her hysterical tears. Her messy pigtails were coming undone after her grueling day, her sweet, innocent appearance becoming more disheveled with every shaking breath she took. After what seemed to her like hours of crying out wordlessly, she found herself staring up at an otherworldly figure.


Such informal words seemed so foreign on the perfectly formed lips of the creature above her. It was vaguely human, but with such grace and strange beauty that it was clearly a distinct being. The silky, white, hairless skin pulled taut over the seemingly fragile, yet well-built structure of the creature seemed to glow softly in the night, giving Jeanne an odd sense of calm. Her tears dried almost immediately as she found herself standing to meet the inhumanly tall being.


Jeanne’s pale blue eyes, still watery and bright from the tears resting in them, looked up to meet the inky black, glassy ones belonging to the man. A man. She was sure he was male. There was no explanation for her reasoning beyond a sudden feeling she couldn’t shake. The incredible man towering over her offered up a sweet smile, surprisingly awkward among his fantastical features.

“So, um… You were crying?”

A blush crossed the girl’s countenance, feeling the shame she abandoned earlier rush back to her. No, no, no… How could I have been so stupid? she thought, cursing herself silently for the unabashed tears she had shed in the presence of such a perfect soul. Her eyes were pricked with the accursed things yet again, but she fought them tooth and nail as she responded.

“Well… Yes.”

Jeanne bit her lip hard, blinking back her embarrassed tears. She saw a look she swore was pity cross the being’s face. No, not quite pity… Was it… sympathy? How could such a beautiful creature understand such wretched emotions? He was grand, lovely, perfection personified, and she was merely –

“I’m really sorry. If you want, maybe we could go get tacos and talk about it?”

She stared up at him in shock, mouth just barely agape, as the truest of realizations hit her. Everyone is awkward. Everyone embarrasses themselves. Not a soul on earth, no matter how beautiful or seemingly untouched by humanity, was without flaws. The being before her wasn’t a grand, magnificent alien. He was a human man. As his white skin darkened deep brown and his eyes went from harsh darkness to soft gold, Jeanne smiled and offered her hand. He wasn’t perfect. Neither was she.

“I’d love to.”


haydensmythe: A picture of a boy with an avocado for a head and large glasses. (Default)

June 2013



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